Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Ramblings of a Fat Girl

My brain is totally racing today (remember how we've talked in the past about 'Hamster Brain'?), I have so much rambling to do, oh devoted readers!  Try to follow me here... I promise I will try to stay on a followable path.
I fully intended to go to back to Spinning yesterday.  I'm not kidding.  I know I said 'NEVER AGAIN', but I don't want to be a quitter just because it's hard.  Several friends have told me that Spinning isn't so bad once you get used to it.  I am assuming that 'getting used to it' means your under-carriage has been beaten so badly that you don't have any feeling left anywhere in that region, but that's just speculation.  I had decided that I would try it two more times before I decided whether or not I truly hate it (although this jury isn't easily swayed).  But after a long weekend of not getting much accomplished, I was exhausted yesterday morning and decided to let my munchkin - and myself - sleep in (just so you know, this decision totally back-fired on me at nap time).  I kind of feel like my window of opportunity for spinning has closed now, since my rear has totally healed from my first experience.  If  I go again now, it will be that first-time-torture all over again.
I was discussing this with my sister and she told me that I should just choose one of the other classes this week and leave early if I couldn't make it the full hour.  Here's my predicament: I'm fat.  I'm usually the fattest girl in class.  I don't want to leave early and have people thinking "the fat girl can't hang" (I discussed this theory with my sister and she told me I was being rediculous... I am aware that she is right).  I'm pretty sure that no one would actually think anything of me leaving early, but my insecurities won't allow me to go and not stay the entire class.  But I'm pretty sure I can't handle an entire hour of the agony that is Spinning.  I feel like in order to have given the class a fair shot, I need to go three times in a row.  But, honestly, I don't think this fat girl can do it.

But what can this fat girl do?  Zumba!  I love Zumba.  I love the sassy Latin rhythms, the jiggle your junk dance/aerobics steps, and, most of all, I love that the hour passes in what seems like minutes.  Now, I am not a highly graceful or coordinated person, never have been... never will be.  But I still go, because it's fun and a great workout.
For several reasons, I always stand in the back row during Zumba class.  The first, is that I don't want anyone watching as I will inevitably screw up most every dance move.  The second is that I would hate for someone to get taken out by the jiggling jelly that is attached to my backside.  I'm not kidding!  There is a lot of it, and I can't ever be sure that it's going to jiggle in the same direction as the rest of my body.  I imagine if someone were to get smacked with all that business, an ambulance would undoubtedly have to be called.
After Zumba was over today (I stayed in back so no bodily injury occurred), I went to Power Yoga, which is my very favorite of all classes.  I love practicing Yoga, I love learning about Yoga, I love teaching Yoga, I love Yoga.  The room in which this class is practiced is surrounded in mirrors, which can be good or bad, depending on the day - and the pose.  Today, though, I as I was checking my poses in the mirror, I was noticing that I'm not quite as fat as I was even last week.  Even my abdominal region is looking a little better.  I was actually able to refrain from picking myself apart in most poses.  This is a huge deal.
I didn't weigh in today, but I probably will tomorrow (maybe not, my Girl Scout cookies were just delivered).  I almost wish that I was posting my poundage in my blogs so that I could keep track (all I know is my starting point: fat - and my last weigh in: a little less fat), but my self-esteem just isn't quite high enough for that yet.
Thank you for letting me ramble today, I could go on and on, but if I did that, then I wouldn't have an idea for my next blog.

Be Healthy, Love Yourself and Remember... you're In Good Company.

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