*The body dismorphia does seem to be getting a little better, but I am still having a hard time not seeing myself as the fattest woman in every room. I hope that, in time, I will be able to see the thinner person in the mirror instead of the 'Ginormica' who lives in my brain. I want to be able to focus on how far I've come, instead of how far I still have to go.*
The gym I attend has recently adopted the CrossFit program. I have always wanted to try CrossFit (and have seen so many of my Yoga ladies have great success with it), but have been terrified and intimidated by the intensity of the workouts. Terrified. I don't like looking clumsy or weak, and I have been so afraid that joining would make me appear to be both. In confiding this to a CrossFit participant, she said, "I am terrified every day when I go, but you get addicted to the terror." November CrossFit group classes are being offered at a special introductory rate, so I figured what the heck and signed up. I asked the instructor if the classes would be very cardio intensive. He said it depends on the day. I told him that he should make sure to brush up on his CPR skills. I'm not certain that he appreciated my humor.
This morning was CrossFit workout day #1. I was so afraid when I arrived, mostly because I had no idea what to expect. We began with some fun, yet crazy, warm-ups (which included: the inch-worm, the prisoner walk, the alligator, the crazy lunge side angle pose thing, skipping, another type of skipping which closely resembled The Running Man, sit-ups, full range push-ups, ring rows, and a few other types of high-knee marching -- I'm certain I'm forgetting something). We followed up with some 'Squat Therapy' (which isn't at all like retail therapy... false advertising? I think so). Squat Therapy is likely what they used to torture prisoners at Alcatraz when they got out of line. Probably.
I thought we were getting close to being done. I thought wrong. We heavily practiced proper form and technique (which, as a Yoga instructor, I highly appreciate) for Dead Lifts and Shoulder Presses. This is all new to me. Yes I lift weights 5 days a week, but I use weight machines, which is totally different from free-weights. The form and technique practice was followed by the Workout of the Day (or WOD). Today's WOD was a timed practice of our new skills, which entailed 21 Dead Lifts (45 lbs), 21 Shoulder Presses (20 lbs), 15 Dead Lifts, 15 Shoulder Presses, 9 Dead Lifts, 9 Shoulder Presses. I completed this in 3 minutes 59 seconds. I think the fastest time in our 8-person class was right around 3 minutes.
After class I had my body fat percentage measured for maybe the first time ever. I knew that it wasn't something I wanted to know, but it was something I needed to know. Body composition is so much more important than weight and BMI. My BF% is currently 30.3 (I so wish I would have measured it at my heaviest). I know I have a lot of work to do still, but I feel like I am on a great path to living healthy.
Be healthy. Pump some iron. And thank you for keeping me... In Good Company.
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