Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Adios, paradise

Adios, paradise.  Howdy, freezing temperatures.

One of the pool areas at the resort.
 
We made it to and from Cancun without incident.  Well, maybe a few incidents, but nothing illegal or permanent (at least I think).  Right before we left I came down with a nasty case of what I can only assume was life threatening tuberculosis (or a gross respiratory infection).  So, our vacation started with me running on very little sleep and a lot of prescription steroids -- and with orders from my doctor to wear a mask on our flights.  Not kidding.

Because we had to catch a red-eye, we stayed at the Double-Tree hotel by the airport after enjoying an evening of shopping, dinner, and drinks with friends.  It was past my husband's bed time (and he had apparently used up all of his cheerfulness for the day), so checking in to the hotel amidst all of their construction was a bit of a headache.  After we weren't able to print our boarding passes in their business center, he was done being nice.  Period.  I stopped at the front desk to ask for some assistance.  The incredibly nice girl pulled up our reservations (but still was not able to print our boarding passes) and said "Oh, I see you are traveling for a wedding.  Are you getting married?"  We both snarled, "NO."

I then informed my sweet husband I had eaten his delicious cookie.  "You ate BOTH of them?"  "No," I said, "I ate yours and am saving mine for later."  He didn't laugh.

Sometimes it would be better if I didn't speak.

Waiting for our flight in Wichita
Luckily our flights were on time and without turbulence (and we were both much sunshinier).  Although the passengers who were lucky enough to sit next to me were NOT impressed with my awesome blue surgical mask.  I felt like a super-mega-d-bag.  Especially since my breath into the mask made my glasses stay foggy.

Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

He's smiling on the outside, but inside he's dying.
We arrived at the luxurious Moon Palace Resort and were immediately offered a cold towel, flowers, and a cocktail.  Jackpot.  After being shown to our rooms, we quickly donned our white Kansas legs and went exploring.
 
Hola, sunshine!
 
The view from our balcony.
Seriously the most comfortable bed on the planet.
 
  
The gorgeous Cancun shore.

 

That evening, after several margaritas and a nap, we went out to meet the rest of our group for drinks.  I had high-hopes for the over-indulging of margaritas on this trip.  But my stomach didn't agree with the antibiotic-steroid-cold medicine-Mucinex-tequila cocktail I was trying to ingest.  The best part of this whole evening was getting to hang out with KJane herself.  Kendra is one of my sorority sisters from college, whom I haven't seen in 10 years; not to mention an amazing photographer.  My brother-in-law and his bride-to-be hired her (and her lovely husband/assistant) to photograph their beach wedding.  Although Kendra and I hadn't seen each other in years, we talked like we had just seen each other the day before -- we also showed up in nearly identical outfits.  My husband said, "you look like twins!"  "Yes," I said, "but obviously I was the twin who ate all the food in the womb."
Masters in self-photography.


Great minds think alike!
My husband and I

Sisters-In-Law!

My husband and his baby brother


Myself, my husband, my father-in-law, my mother-in-law,
my brother-in-law, and my sister-in-law.
The next day was our free day, and even though I felt like total crap, I was suffering in 80 degree Cancun in January, so I'm choosing not to complain.  I was able to sleep in (which I love), have breakfast in bed (double love), and go to the spa (hello!).  The spa experience started off a bit rocky, since no one told me that I was to bring a bathing suit.  I wasn't able to enjoy the hydro-therapy services (nothing like a pale flabby naked girl to ruin your spa experience), but did get a fancy white robe to wear into the eucalyptus sauna.  Talk about ecstasy for the sinuses!  My Spanglish (it's not even good enough to call it Spanish) is incredibly limited, so I had to relax and and trust that I would be shown where to go.  I opted for a 50 minute Refresher Facial followed by a Deluxe Spa Pedicure.  I am not kidding when I say that every single second of the facial was pure heaven.  The practitioners have every single step down to a relaxing science.  I wanted to lay on that table all day.  After my wonderful spa experience, I immediately went back to our room to shower and nap.  A housekeeper may or may not have seen me naked.  She may or may not be scarred for life...
Happy feet!

While I was being pampered, my husband went golfing.  On the course, some sort of monkey creature (the locals called them Mexican Raccoons) stole beer from the golf cart while he was putting.  My husband heard his golfing partner yell, "Get out of there, you monkey bastard!" and turned to see the sneaky little thing going in for the heist.  When they returned to the cart, one of the beer cans had two holes in it and beer was spraying everywhere.  Later he heard a similar story from a female golfer (except the monkey/raccoon stole her purse and dragged it into the jungle).
"Monkey bastards"

I think my favorite part of the resort (besides the naps and all-inclusive room service/drinks/food) was getting to put on make up and a pretty dress each night.  Even when you don't feel well, or feel a little pudgy from too many Christmas treats, makeup and girly clothes can lift your mood.  I rarely wear makeup anymore (although I know I should); watching Cars over and over and playing with play-dough just don't give me the urge to get fancy.
Fancy Schmancy

The agenda that night was dinner at a delicious Brazilian restaurant, drinks at the Sky Bar, and a bit of dancing at a techno club called Noir.  We had a great time hanging out with our good friends Dan & Trish, who we don't get to see nearly often enough -- even though they only live an hour away.
A giant piece of bacon(we're talking 3"x4") at the Brazilian restaurant.
I couldn't even try it, just looking at it made my stomach turn.

The men at the table, however, were in heaven.

Dan & Trish


Trish and I

Some of the guys playing pool at Sky Bar.


Some of the ladies

 Friday was wedding day, the whole reason for this wonderful trip.  I was in charge of doing a few of the bridesmaids' hair (which, I'll be honest scared the crap out of me -- I have hated doing formal hair ever since an unfortunate incident 5 years ago with an evil "Prom Mom").  I was pleased with my work, even if I was shaking in my Toms the whole time.
Voila.
My husband's Spanish is even more limited than mine (we both really regret not paying attention during our high school Spanish classes), so he was in a bit of a pickle when he went back to our room to dress and shower for the wedding and pictures (with about 5 minutes to spare), and found it occupied by a housekeeper.  He did his best charades impression of a shower, and she only smiled and nodded and went about her toilet-cleaning business.  He walked away, paced for a moment, and did the only thing he knew to do.  He stripped down, held his head high, and strode past the housekeeper and into the shower.  She subsequently screamed and ran out of the room.
Headed to the wedding
 
After everyone was ready and pictures were taken, we headed to a beautiful gazebo where the wedding would take place -- at nearly sunset -- with a view of the beach.  It was... breathtaking, beautiful, perfection, gorgeous, absolutely stunning... and every other adjective describing the most fantastic and intimate ceremony in the history of ever.  The music was perfect, the guests were happy, the groomsmen were handsome (and appeared sober), the bridesmaids were gorgeous.  The couple was truly beautiful.  And happy.  So happy.  I don't believe myself to be exaggerating when I say that there wasn't a dry eye there.  I am not generally a crier at weddings, but when the bride came down the beach with her proud father -- in a carriage -- pulled by a single white horse, I couldn't help but cry.  I felt like a very proud big sister -- even though the groom is my really husband's brother -- so very proud of the man he has become and the beautiful (inside and out) wife he has chosen.  The whole even could not have been more perfect.

The wedding site

Wedding programs (that doubled as fans), crafted by the bride.
 

The beautiful couple.  Copyright - KJane Designs
The ceremony was followed by a lovely cocktail hour on the beach (complete with delicious hors d'oeuvres) and a moonlight dinner reception.  My husband, the best man, gave a speech, informing his brother that, "Marriage is like football -- it takes dedication and commitment; and you should always score on Sundays."
Miami Vice: "the drink" of the trip.
After the ceremony, at cocktail hour.


My husband giving marital advice.

After the dinner reception ended, everyone went out for drinks and dancing.  I was feeling pretty puny and quite exhausted by the time we made our way back to Noir.  Apparently I wasn't doing a good job of hiding it, and must have had a mean-mug look on my face -- someone told me to "lighten up", and then I received an unsolicited hug from a bartender (he hugged me before asking if I was married, and then gave me a shot -- and he wasn't taking no for an answer).  I sucked it up and danced for a few songs before we made it back to our room to pack.

I will admit I was a bit sad to begin packing.  Three nights went by much too quickly -- not to mention feeling sick put a damper on many of the things I had hoped to do (swim with the dolphins, drink too many margaritas, go for a run, do Yoga on the beach...).  Although naps and late night room service are two of my very favorite things -- and I did a lot of both.  I got to spend a lot of quality time with my husband, see the most beautiful wedding ceremony, and was able to catch up with two great friends.

The next morning we were up with the sun to check out. We wandered around a bit to see if we could find a way to spend our remaining "resort cash." We quickly discovered that everything was incredibly overpriced. One salesman in particular seemed quite keen on selling me a "very reasonable" blue diamond ring. He was disappointed when I politely told him that my budget was no where near his prices, and I informed him that everything always seems reasonable when you are the one doing the selling.
One last goofy mask picture (I refused to wear it on the way home).

Because that's what CrossFitters do.

Adios, Moon Palace!
We, luckily, made it through customs in Mexico without a hitch.  Our trip home went downhill from there.  Our flight into Dallas was delayed, and we were greeted at the Dallas airport with a 2 1/2 hour wait to get through customs (I might have had a bawling breakdown and had to call my mom).  Luckily, we were blessed to have a really great couple to talk with during our long wait (he was a hunter and she was a hairstylist -- what are the odds?!).  Much to our dismay, we had to stay the night in Dallas at a hotel that seemed almost uninhabitable compared to the luxurious resort in which we had just departed.  But in reality it wasn't all that bad.  American Airlines paid for our hotel, dinner that night, and breakfast in the morning.  We were thankful for their generosity, but what we really wanted was to get home to our munchkin.  We were missing his sweet smile like crazy -- not to mention he was missing us like crazy.  He unfortunately got an ear infection and nasty cold while we were gone -- it made me so upset and preoccupied that he was sick and just wanted his mommy while I was half-way across the world (although I know he was in great hands <and was being spoiled rotten> with my parents).
Dallas airport at go-to-hell-o-clock in the morning.
Exhausted.
Still smiling.
When we finally arrived home, we were greeted by huge smiles and hugs and kisses from our 3-year-old; and whimpers and licks and dances from our dog.  Knowing we were exhausted, my amazing mom had gone to the grocery store, had lunch waiting for us, and had that night's dinner on the stove.  I just wanted to break down and bawl.  I don't know what I would do without that wonderful woman.
So happy to be greeted by this smiling face!
*Disclaimer: this is NOT a Mizzou shirt, it was a random find at
Target and is actually navy and yellow.

Delicious dinner from the greatest mom on earth.
I am excited to someday go back to Moon Palace (we're considering renewing our vows there on our 10th anniversary), but right now, there really is no place like home.  Thank you for letting me share with you; and thank you for keeping me In Good Company.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Tuberculosis

It's been, once again, way too long since I've written.  One of my New Year's resolutions is to write a new blog post at least every other week.  Since we're just now in the second week of the new year, I'd say I'm doing well.

My other new year's resolution is to not partake in gossip when it is going around me.  Which I am find incredibly difficult, as often "girl-talk" is gossip in disguise.

I always have CrossFit goals.  But this year I am aiming (just as I was in 2012) to get that damn elusive unassisted pull-up, and (this one is new) to stop saying "I can't".  So far, so good -- on the second one anyway.

Tomorrow we are heading to Cancun, Mexico to celebrate the wedding of my husband's brother and his gorgeous fiance.  I could not be more thrilled to welcome her in the family (and also to see my brother-in-law so incredibly happy).

In a bad bit of luck I wound up sick this weekend, as did my husband and son.  While the little guy is happily being spoiled at my parents' house, my big guy is almost over his sinus infection.  I got lucky enough to get a super bug that infected my lungs.  I went to the doctor and had to get shot in the ass with antibiotics and steroids; and also a prescription for oral antibiotics and steroids (as well super strong cough syrup).  So I feel pretty good today, but I'm not sure if it's because of the crazy amount of steroids coursing through my veins, or if I'm actually getting better.  Either way, I couldn't sleep or relax if I wanted to and I am pumped up and ready to go (I have gotten SO much done today).  My doctor said that I should be ready for tequila shots by tomorrow.  That would be awesome if I planned on taking shots -- the last time I had an evening where shots were involved, I wound up throwing up in my parents' back yard -- I know what you're thinking, "she is so classy" -- but that was 6 weeks ago and I've grown up since then.

The best part of it all is that I have to wear a mask on the airplane.  My doctor actually ordered that I do so in order to not contract any extra nasty infections from the unfiltered recirculated airplane air.  So I'm going to be "that woman".  I really thought about writing "tuberculosis" across the front of my mask just for grins, but I'm not going to for two reasons.  #1 - I don't think they would let me on the plane and #2 - we fly out super early and I don't think I could spell tuberculosis at 4 am.

This is a conversation via text messaging I with my sister (whom I call Ber) regarding this sickness debacle.

B: How's your ass?
Me: Big and lumpy.
B: I meant from the shots.
Me: Oh.  It's fine.
B: I fully expect a picture of you in the mask.
Me: I fully intend to take one.
B: You need to make sure you hack and cough a lot so the person next to you will give you extra room.
Me: That person would be my husband.  But that's a really good idea, because he's a big armrest hog.
B: I thought maybe you were flying in a row of three.
Me: Possibly.  I bet if a stranger sits next to me he will be pissed.  I still need to think of something witty to write across the front of my mask, like maybe "Stop staring, my mouth herpes are angry today."
B: Awesome.

I'll let you know how the creative mask writing goes.

So, if all goes well, I will be spending my next several days with no phone, sitting by the pool, drinking too many margaritas, and doing some yoga on the shore.

Viva la Mexico!!!!!