Sunday, February 22, 2015

Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles

I have had so much on my mind lately that I haven’t been able to get anything out into sensible words that make paragraphs that logically flow into one another.  So another Kelsey Lately it is.



Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles
*disclaimer: I cannot promise you there will be any rhyme, reason, or systematic approach to what follows*


{During my Girl Scout cookie binge, I threatened to punch Mr. B when he tried to take my cookies away.  Really.  I just felt like you should know that so you could feel better about yourself.  I suppose that’s really a testament to the addictive and brain-altering properties of sugar.  I haven’t consumed any sweets for seven days and I’m finally out of my fog.  The first two days made me feel like I had quit smoking all over again; I was grouchy and my brain was extremely cloudy.  So, while I am still craving a giant bowl of ice cream – and have been dreaming about eating donuts – I’m not inclined to punch anyone in the esophagus over it.

And aside from not getting the dogs walked, Lent is going really well.


{I CrossFitted four days in a row last week, as promised.  By the end of day three, my legs were dead.  My everything hurt.  On day four, my hips had nothing to give to the never-ending rowing that was thankfully part of a team WOD.  But I love it.  The three days of rest at the end of the week made it seem more bearable.  But I’m excited for this week’s WODs to start.  I’m ready to build endurance and be able to go to CrossFit four days in a row without having to take daily naps – because I literally napped every day last week.  I know that soon I will have enough built up energy to feel like I can still work hard on the fourth day.  I’m ready.


{Little K recently had to get glasses.  And I think he’s the most adorable thing ever.  I not-so-secretly love that he and I are both bespectacled now.

Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles

Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles
Bespectacled Us.



{I also think that Little K is an adorable little a-hole sometime.  Because, let’s face it – all kids are a-holes (some more adorable than others).  But I recently discovered that when I had been asking him to put his clean clothes away in his room, he was actually throwing them in his dirty clothes hamper.  I’m embarrassed to say that it took me a little too long to realize why I had been having to do so much more laundry.  But when I found nine (nine!) pairs of folded socks mixed in with his dirty clothes, I was pissed.  He didn’t even try to hide the evidence.  He tried to deny it, but is a terrible liar.  Sigh


{As Mr. B was driving in heavy traffic yesterday, I was trying to give him directions.  After he couldn’t hear me the third time, I was super irritated – because selective hearing.  “Oh my God.  You need a hearing aid.  Seriously!  How can you not hear me?”  I glanced back at Little K, who had somehow found a pair of ear-phones at exactly the right moment.  When he knew he had caught my eye, he smirked and said, “I didn’t want to listen to you yell, so I put these on.

 
Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles
Funny little stinker.

{At CrossFit, the very day after a humiliating incident with an over-flowing toilet, I embarrassed myself, yet again.  I guess I wasn’t really embarrassed, more like everyone was embarrassed for me.  It was the last WOD of the week and I was lacking in clean workout clothes.  So I wore the yoga pants that are really emergency-only pants – I know you have some of those too, the ones that have a hole in a seam and creep down when you bend over, but that work in a pinch.  As I was rowing, my coach was sitting behind the rowing machines giving cues about using hips and rowing harder (I was ignoring him, by the way).  I was super worried about my pants so I said, “C can you please not sit there?  My butt crack hangs out of these pants and I really don’t want you back there.”  For the record, he owns the gym and can sit wherever he damn well pleases.  I hear one of my friends say, under her breath, “Oh my God, Kelsey!”  C said, “I didn’t see anything.”  “Well it’s not out there yet, but it’ll sneak up on you!” I said.  Honestly I just didn’t want anyone to see my ass.  Luckily, my pants stuck to my sweat and all eyes were spared that day.


{I decided to try to make my own sandwich bread, using my grandma’s roll recipe, but replacing the white flour with whole grain.  It was disgusting.  A disgrace to my grandma, really.  But, despite a loaf of bread that looked like a turkey, I still feel pretty confident in my bread making abilities (I just need to find a better recipe for loafs).  So on this snowy evening, I made homemade whole wheat baguettes along with the Pioneer Woman’s Broccoli Cheese Soup.  Each recipe had a miniscule amount of white flour per serving, but I didn’t really feel like it was breaking Lent, seeing as how there is white flour hidden in much of what we eat.  Both turned out deliciously, though Mr. B would prefer the soup to less chunky (I thought it was perfect).  Little K thought the soup as all-around disgusting.

Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles

Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles


{Through the generosity of some of our wonderful friends, we took Little K to his first KU Jayhawks basketball game at Allen Fieldhouse.  For Mr. B and I, it was a little like taking Little K to first communion.  We were so excited, as was he.  If you’ve never experienced a game at Allen Fieldhouse, go.  I get chills every single time I watch the opening traditions video.  Little K was absolutely thrilled to tour the impressive museum, take a picture with Baby Jay, and to cheer on the team.  After the game, I asked him to tell me about his favorite part of the experience.  His answer?  “The niminims.”  For those of you that don’t speak 5-year old, that’s M&Ms.  Out of the whole night, his favorite part was the small $5.00 package of M&Ms.  I guess at least he didn’t say it was having to go pee 800 times – but that was probably a close second.

Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles
A chip off the ol' block.

Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles
Our little Jayhawk family.

Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles
It gets LOUD in there, earplugs are necessary.

Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles
Baby Jay with Little K


{Little K started gymnastics at the beginning of the month.  Our hope is that he will improve in balance and coordination.  Because he’s my child, he could cut his arm off in a circular padded room.  I also hope that he makes gains in confidence and bravery.  The balance beam terrifies him and he told his instructor that he felt like he was going to fall and break his head open on the uneven bars.

Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles


{After a debate about 50 Shades of Grey with friends and strangers on Facebook (you know, I really have not missed it at all this week – Instagram is a completely different story), I decided I was absolutely the most liberal of my close circle of friends.  My stance is not that the books are well written – quite the opposite actually, or that it’s an excellent story – it’s not.  My points were that there is so much worse out there.  I don’t really find the movies or books a faith issue.  It’s about fictional characters who are into some kinky shit – one has a horrible past and the other grows out of being a shrinking violet.  The psychological evolution of the characters fascinated me.  I don’t intend to see the movies, simply because the books weren’t good enough to make me want to see the movies.  I guess my frustration with the opposition lies in opinions and misinformation being shoved around by people who haven’t actually read the books or seen the movies. 

Then my friend Sar sent me a link to an article by Jamie the Very Worst Missionary (click here to read it – I’ll wait).  Here was my response to her:  “Touché.  She is absolutely right.  It gave me a lady-boner and made me have more sex for a while.  I think the points about loving Ana’s character more than Christian’s are spot on.  I remember saying when I read the books that if a man wanted that from me I would have run far far away.  He’s not the hero of the books, she is.  And it’s the money and rocking hot bod that make it seem acceptable.  So, while I still don’t think it’s the worst thing out there, I get the opposition.  Man, I hate being wrong.” 

I may hate being wrong, but I love having friends who are my friends despite where we stand on certain issues (and friends that love me regardless of texting them the word “lady-boner”).


{I believe in stricter gun laws.  I am very left-winged.  However, I married into a family of gun-slingers.  So finally, after being with Mr. B for nearly 13 years, I asked him to take me out to his family’s ranch and teach me how to shoot.  He was a little afraid I was plotting his demise because of my sudden interest.  But really it was because I read Jen Mann’s book People I Want to Punch in the Throat (which I loved), and the chapter about her mom’s group going to the local gun range made it seem fun.  So Mr. B and his brother taught me to shoot a 12-gauge shotgun, a Ruger .22 pistol, and a Glock 9 millimeter pistol.  I will admit that it was pretty fun (particularly when I hit the targets).  I won’t be hunting any time soon (read: never), and I still believe in stricter gun laws.  But it was fun.

 
Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles
Before: I'm not so sure about this.

Kelsey Lately: Words and Rambles
After: It was freezing cold and they did not want to take a picture.


That’s all!  Like I said, no rhyme nor any reason to this post.  But with so many words and stories swirling around in my brain, it was necessary.


Thank you for keeping me In Good Company.





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